


Condoms No. 2 (a 221B)

by SweetLateJuliet



Series: Edgeways [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: 221B Ficlet, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetLateJuliet/pseuds/SweetLateJuliet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>The flax? Sherlock wanted to give John the full range of <a href="http://grist.org/living/umbras-second-helpings-diy-lube-video/">natural</a> options. Also, Sherlock reminds you to use only water-based lube with condoms. The coconut oil is for later.</i>
</p></blockquote>





	Condoms No. 2 (a 221B)

Recall: I am fond of condoms.

Infectious disease is not a danger that tempts me, and I’ve never been interested in propagating the family name. (That’s Mycroft’s responsibility, though he seems singularly unaware.)

Further, I am unashamed of this fondness. John is a doctor and I’m an irreligious pragmatist; there is rather less body-related embarrassment in our flat than elsewhere in England.

And yet.

Last night I went to Tesco. I’d filled a basket with assorted lubricants (both custom-purposed and ingenious), flax seed, port, Durex and, in an incompletely reasoned goodwill gesture, a carton of milk, when I came face-to-face with my landlady.

“Sherlock, fancy meeting you here! Is John quite alright?” She surveyed my basket. “Ah, for an experiment? Coconut oil, flax, wine… johnnies…”

The unfortunate coincidence of the slang term caused her to drop her flesh-coloured shampoo bottle. It squirted three millilitres onto the tile. We both stared at the viscous white blob.

I didn’t know what to do. Although I am unembarrassed about certain subjects, I have learned that others appreciate discretion, and I am inclined to humour both John and Mrs. Hudson in this respect.

Her lips twitched. Her shoulders shook as she shooed me away. “Go home, darling. Give my regards to John.”

This incident has discomfited me. I shall shop elsewhere for the next box.

**Author's Note:**

> _The flax? Sherlock wanted to give John the full range of[natural](http://grist.org/living/umbras-second-helpings-diy-lube-video/) options. Also, Sherlock reminds you to use only water-based lube with condoms. The coconut oil is for later._


End file.
